Dear Facebook

Dear Facebook,

You recently suggested the following group to me on my News Feed: "Everything Pregnancy."  I am sure you can imagine my confusion at this suggestion as I have no children, nor do I "Like" anything on Facebook that has anything to do with children. Do not misunderstand me, I have no aversion to children (being an aunt is actually a source of joy in my life). I just do not understand what, from my Facebook profile, of my browsing history, for that matter, would elicit such a presumptuous suggestion. Once my initial confusion and surprise at the "Everything Pregnancy" group suggestion passed, I developed a number of burning questions: Why am I seeing this suggestion? How does it make me (and possibly others like me) feel?  Is Facebook being schauvanistic? Does Facebook have a right to make such consequential prescriptions for a woman's life?

So, Facebook, let's examine my first question, why did I receive that suggestion? As I said before, I neither have, nor plan to have children in the foreseeable future. Nor do I browse sites pertaining to pregnancy, childbirth, or child rearing. Furthermore, the rare times I do post about children, those posts are very clearly tagged as aunt, or niece, or nephew. I am, however, married, young, and female. Is that why you suggested that I join "Everything Pregnancy?" Or, is it because a large number of my Facebook friends are new parents or are soon-to-be parents? I hope you answered "no" to both of those questions.

The subject of creating life is such a sensitive topic. It is a topic that can bring one person to tears of joy, but can bring another grief. Luckily for you, Facebook, your suggestion only brought surprise, confusion, and ire. What if you had suggested that group to a young married woman who cannot have children and your suggestion reopened a barely healed emotional gash? What if you suggested it to a young married woman who has been trying and trying and trying to get pregnant, but can't and she had to see all of her Facebook friends post about their baby joy every day? As I said before, it's fortunate that I am neither of those women, but if I were, the suggestion that I join "Everything Pregnancy" would be met with only tears.

Are you being schauvanistic, Facebook? Don't get me wrong, I am the first woman to admit that the current dialogue about gender equality has grown decidedly one-sided. But, I am still a feminist. And as a feminist, I feel that all women have the right to choose how to live their own lives. And having children is one of those choices. No woman should ever feel pressured by society to have children simply because she can and that is the traditional gender role. Why didn't you suggest this page to my husband?

Finally, Facebook, do you have the right to make prescriptions for a woman's life, or to promote traditional strict gender roles? Obviously, something in your algorithm determines that a person like me (young, married, and female) would be more likely to enjoy joining a group called "Everything Pregnancy." But why does your algorithm need to give that result? Should it give that result? What are the consequences if you continue to make assumptions about your users based upon their age and gender?

Sincerely,
Jenna